gamma ray sky

2010-05-09T03:47:00.001+08:00

Hey guys. I have moved to http://www.gammaraysky.com.

2008-08-26T07:45:00.001+08:00

I've made a temporary portfolio here.

2008-07-04T02:29:00.015+08:00

On this momentous day (which is also America's Independence Day, ironic as you'll find out later), I found my true calling.

To be a prophet to effect change in human existence.

Such a huge title for a negligible blip in Existence, I must admit, but hey, impossible dreams are the best ones, don't they say?

It came to me as Abby shared with me her book review of The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight by Thom Hartmann.

I haven't read the book quite yet, but I am going to buy it, because many of the things she commented seemed to express all of those things which I have felt but never been able to quite rationally voice out (do i ever?) either:

The decay of humanity.

And I don't say that because I'm an emo-scenester, no.

Nor do I agree with the crowds that go (ooh eerie voice time) 'Doomsday is coming, Doomsday is coming. It has been foretold...' but otherwise do nothing since it is fated.

No.

I say that after having watched Fahrenheit 9/11 eleven times.
(yes, my all-time favorite film)
(and no, I'm not just another one of those
'show-him-some-Iraq-blood-and-he'll-get-angry-with-Uncle-Sam' people.)
(adrenaline/testosterone rush doesn't occur anymore after the 6th or so viewing.. try it.)

I've grown to harbour a deep-rooted, almost primal sense of displacement towards the world we live in today,

a world ruled by capitalism,
confused by religion,

a world where civilization is preached unto, but does not think for itself.
(so why again are we different from animals?)

a DOG-EAT-DOG, DOG-EAT-GOD, GOTT-IST-TOT (half-witted bastards who take everything out of context. oh wow god is real. oh wow god isn't real. oh wow my book is better than your book so you'll rot in hell..) and another SIX-DEGREES-WARMER-WE'D-ALL-BE-DEAD kinda world.

I have long sought Unity (of science, religion, philosophy, etc, way of life basically) through reading the works of Einstein, the writings of Carl Sagan, the ideas of Karl Marx, and recently my mother has gotten into Eckhart Tolle as well and I must say I am happy for her and for myself, we understand each other better..

It now makes perfect sense to me why I've not fully loved all my other areas of interest/study that I've applied myself into: computing, design, art, film, diy craft, green technology, etc.
and the whole withdrawal from filmmaking. (I've decided I probably won't pursue film after graduating)

Some of it was only there as stepping stones towards this higher purpose. It was always about the bigger picture. And now I finally understand that bigger picture.

(like my fascination with nuclear fusion and/or the day we becoming a spacefaring species. it wasn't just all 'kid-with-shiny-object')

(also, it doesn't mean what I've studied thus far is a waste. They had to be there in order for me to get here to where I am right now. Especially art school.)

I feel great because even though I still don't know what I will probably be doing after I graduate, (i.e the specifics) the big picture is crystal clear.

The world will change, and no matter how big or small the part I will play in this act, I will act.

(ps: I would like to say a word of thanks, shoutouts to Abby (hang in there!) and to the Bush administration. ;p)

2007-11-20T12:19:00.001+08:00

"Truth is one, the sages speak of it by many names,"
- Vedas (Devanagari)

2007-07-07T05:06:00.001+08:00

+

3 hours of rendering with a damned MOUSE

=

+

a numb right hand.

I've had enough. Bleah.

2007-06-27T02:17:00.000+08:00

With the theme song of 28 days later playing in background, I now set out to begin work on my first song for the album. I intend to take upon this composing work by placing in filming ideas as much as possible, i.e to do proper pre-production and analysis before actually beginning studio work.

The reason behind this is that I find myself unable to just instantly create music that appreciates itself for what it is. So far I have merely concocted songs that do not necessarily embody the ideas from which the lyrics are written.

It is like putting together an image in Photoshop without an apparent study of the final vision nor the understanding of its individual elements or layers. It looks good. But it doesn’t mean anything.

I can’t have that anymore. Not for something that officially represents me.

So this will be a journal entry that will accompany me in the stages of this process, and hopefully help me at the end of the day in reviewing the success of this concept.

PRE PRODUCTION STAGES
(with reference to filmmaking)
(warning: techy shit ahead. skip to keep head on body.)

‘script analysis’
I will attempt to analyse the lyrics and break it down into emotional beats as per a normal film script. Determine narrator, characters, themes, spine. Introduce a layer of subtext.

‘actor rehearsals’
Perhaps begin some preliminary work in creating tunes/voices/rhythms/riffs. These may be useful in developing a basic sound.

‘production design’
Collect references of images, music, sound that set the mood and tone.

‘shot design’
structural design of song.

GAMMA RAY SKY - MONGREL

the son
follows his father's footsteps
and becomes a farmer

not a better farmer,
just a farmer
same as the father

( i thought this was a beat since it focused on the f/s r/s)

there is no accumulative wisdom
how much of that are we
endless cycles of subsistence

once in awhile
one of few
discover something new
a technological progress for all
but we are still the same

(this one seems more like a commentary of life)

(this is a mix)

and when the sun dies the sons die
is this the creed decreed upon us,

we are therefore we are
circles of comfort just like the planets,

shaped by natural law
never to assume more than existence.

the bracketed parts are some comments/breakdowns done by my significant other; she also did the following write up after some persuasion (heh). Stuff in italics are my own additions for thematic ideas.

This poem is a good example with poetry that involves the juxtaposition of the cycle of life with ones' relationship with his father.

Try using styles/instrumentations from Film noir, Sci fi, Fantasy, Modern rock but using the same basic melody to convey this repetitive ‘cycle of life’.

Thematically speaking, it talks about how "we are all still the same" no matter the changes in our life. This interjects with his commentary on how "the son follows his father's footsteps" in the neverending cycle of things.

It is a free flowing poem without a classical poetic structure: (not a sonnet, no iambic panameter). But it does occasionally have words that rhyme with each other. Notably, we can see how when he talks about the father and son, the words rhyme more than when he comments on life: (second stanza). This perhaps connotes his confusion about life and emphasizes on it.

In my opinion as the writer I think the simpler more assertive tone in the first stanza does not show how it is more confident as compared to the second stanza with run-on sentences being a more unsure state of the writer. The first stanza was meant to be more of a boring factual statement, the run-ons being more confident with a more fluid play with words. However, I find that both views do still stand.

The tone and mood of the poem is very stoic in my opinion. It feels rather hopeless and seems to flow in a cycle. Once he mentions that the son "becomes a farmer", the son is then put down and in the next verse becomes the "same as (his) father)". You see the same thing when once we "discover something new", he goes on to say, "BUT we are still the same". This use of taking back his positives and turning them negative is a neverending cycle, like the neverending cycle of life. And gives illusion to the stoic, roundabout, pessimistic mood.

Consider song structure in this. The similarities in both segments could be brought about more by structuring them both as similar verses.

It has a rather consistent poetic rhythm. The start seems to be more hopeful and quicker however, although not that much quicker. And then as the poem flows to the end, the rhythm gets slower and heavier as sentences seem to run on longer with longer words. The poem seems to slowly drag you down with it.

I was watching an interview with the director of Flight Plan yesterday. He used the word ‘slow boil’ to describe how he envisioned his film to climax. Tension builds up ever slowly until it in itself threatens to explode, as opposed to placing a catalyst or a marker for this climax. The theme song of 28 days later also seems to do this, the same tune going over and over… yet getting drastically heavier… at first it is just acoustic guitar which evolves into a running strum and finally rolls into a full on distortion guitar.

The poem is in the third person voice, giving it an isolated feeling. We feel disconnected from that voice as it is impersonal. The poet never mentions himself despite the feeling that it has a lot to do with him. This helps add to the heavy and moody feeling.

This isn't a melodramatic poem. in my opinion, it is more unemotionless than sad. the heavy mood is not one of great tears and sadness, but of repetition and solemness.

I shall come back to this another day with a fresh mind.

2007-06-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

"take care of the family" were his last words to me.

i stand torn.

2007-06-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

results were out today. i did better than expected in general. way better. lol.

a-	directing
b+	cinematography
a-	western film history
a	compositing
b-	asian art history
a	communications

see sue, told you the film did well ;pPp.

2007-06-04T19:07:00.000+08:00

i've been restless lately.

i still feel nowhere near deciding on my direction for the album yet. i need that epiphany to come. an ultimate decision on how i'll begin my work on my music. you know how certain bands tend to sound the same across all their records? i have a problem of even sounding the same throughout several songs.

however, i find myself beginning to divert attention into several nonsensical projects as well.. i've been going back to lego, and am considering starting a hobby into ice-cream stick sculptures.

been heavily involved in star wars lore lately as well, just completed two games, empires at war and jedi academy, and watched four of the six episodes. pretty certain its affecting my judgement.

and work on the home club event needs to get started. a group of us are in the process of organizing an art exhibition at home club, an unofficial ADM showcase.

i need to haul ass.

oh. a title for the song in my previous post found me a minute prior to sleep this morning. MONGREL.

2007-05-23T22:38:00.001+08:00

i happened to have some free time today, due to a certain colleague's inefficient planning, so i was idling around macpherson rd and decided to indulge in a cup of old school coffee, kopitiam style.

as i was staring away into a puddle on the road, these thoughts formed.

the son
follows his father's footsteps
and becomes a farmer

not a better farmer,
just a farmer
same as the father

there is no accumulative wisdom

how much of that are we
endless cycles of subsistence

once in awhile
one of few
discover something new
a technological progress for all

but we are still the same
and when the sun dies the sons die
is this the creed decreed upon us,

we are therefore we are
circles of comfort just like the planets,
shaped by natural law
never to assume more than existence.

i might consider making it into one of the songs for my album. any ideas for its title?

2007-05-20T09:19:00.001+08:00

i recently went back to playing need for speed: hot pursuit 2, more so for the fun of tuning the cars (by hacks, not available in the game itself) rather than the actual racing, and hence i began brushing up on car performance and tuning techniques again.

i came across this funny article about an artist's rants regarding modern automobile design (and their flashy gadgets). take a
look.

2007-05-19T04:02:00.000+08:00

here are two more i forgot, just covers since there's really just no time to write anything during school term, and the last one being a technical test, i'm trying to achieve professional studio quality with my rack-of-lamb home pc.

the exit (The Haunted cover)

a beautiful lie (30 Seconds to Mars cover)

drum & amplifier software test

drop me some comments guys, i wanna hear what you all think about this stuff, positive or negative.

2007-05-18T03:38:00.000+08:00

finally, i hauled ass and fixed my broken links. and i added many more songs as well, more of my older work that i still love, although technically they're not really in the style of gammaraysky. at least, not yet, i think.

here's a full list if you wanna grab any. enjoy.

attempt
my first try at using Ableton Live. just a snippet.

breaking into groove
(ALERT: loud)

displacement
(ALERT: loud)

full void
(ALERT: loud)

the perplexed grandeur delights
fades away with black despite
enter the medley intrinsic cacophony caress the bleed of the eye
silence the sirens, echoed distortions, truncate, compress, normalize

expansion of space inhibits extrovertion
cast away, desensitized, curtailed sentiment
satisfaction is impermanent, erratic, deceitful
safety in numbers, laws of average applied

detach the faculties
(the only way to survive)
embrace indifference
(replace the endless feed)

pleasure in certainty, renouncement of faith
asphyxiate so often you don't feel it anymore
engaging dysfunction descend into privy
drown out externals, simplify

but void still fills my emptiness

intrinsic discordance
lets see, i think i wrote this around august 2005.

feed the cross that shrivelled in flames
anoint thy prayer upon its cradle
sparks of ashes float away
translating the irreversible sands of time

the gates closed as the sun came down
the red sky splashes upon its surroundings
the elaborate fears draw in once again
creatures we've grown used to

from behind the barriers we await
that self-manifested sense of protection
false hope ingrained; what we call faith
the saviour and his crucifix, the satan and his horde

rattle of the gates; claustrophobia ensues
the light of the inner sphere flickers
convictions turn feverish
unity divided

obscurity brings disorientation
disorder and the turmoils of upheaval
all but while the beasts sieged upon
reconstruct refuge to prison

confinement equates self preservation
but how much of that is retained?
intrinsic constitutional discordance
faith in distant salvation

engines of sedition-original idea
(ALERT: loud)

engines of sedition-drum track trial
(ALERT: loud)

engines of sedition-1st jam
(ALERT: loud)
back during NS, a bunch of us formed up and called ourselves cassus viscus. this was the first (and only) piece that emerged from the band.
the different tracks show work in progress on the song.

line draft
one of the i'm-bored-so-i-pick-up-the-guitar sessions.

lofi dream
trying out ableton's midi capabilities.

melodrama
same.

oddbarre
(ALERT: loud)
this song is ala soviet montage and german expressionism combined.

prime numbers
(ALERT: loud)
more offkey stuff.

reaction (Between the Buried and Me cover)

seasons

sunrise
i think this is my most successful midi based composition so far..
if you had to choose one song to hear from me, it'd be this one.

the lyricist
amanda wrote this one.

the wind taught my hair about peace and perfection
and in every strand that it swept through
I could almost still imagine you
we're kindred spirits till you leave my room
then you become just a stranger I thought I knew

as the bus ate up the roads from the view of my side window
I choked on your amnesia and wished for my own
back to the start, back to the end, I feel thrown

I saw the sunlight bouncing off the beaks of birds
and suddenly I knew that it was never really about you
or those silly things I let myself go through

it's not about the times we turned away from each other
or the times it seemed that the lies seeped in
through that space between our hands

I cannot give you an answer
just like how you cannot give me one too

the river flows frozen (Eternal Tears of Sorrow cover)

the lexus and the olive tree
this piece was a soundscape for a photography series i did in year one, showing the clash between industrialization and globalization versus culture and religion. hence the name (stolen from thomas friedman's book)

2007-05-12T17:07:00.000+08:00

crap. i used to laugh when i heard my older cousin, omi, mellow down from metal and listen to weird stuff... like gypsy kings.

guess what i'm listening to now.

2007-05-08T18:13:00.000+08:00

i'm back, i'm back..

fir: let's jam.. gimme a songlist and tell me when.

fit: message me dude. we gotta chill.. (and i need the flash manual back)

nas: let's start composing stuff man. talk to me on msn...

mal: arrange with me when you wanna try some lighting/protools/whatever..

sue: let's watch my short film soon yeah... now exams aye? when's hols?

this one's the best:

kir: STUDY.

2007-05-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

year two is finally over.

and i've been on a photoshop rampage. here are some images of an album cover design i'm doing for a local band..

oh, and in other news...

i'm leaving for Angkor this Thursday.

2007-03-18T01:48:00.000+08:00

with regards to the previous post, for the past few months i've felt myself lost in terms of musical direction.

nothing i listened to fulfilled me, for the longest time ever, and it really got me worried. i guess it's practically a musician's biggest fear ever, second to losing his hearing (which i kinda did yesterday joining naseef for his band's jam session. took me almost a whole day to recover. even now i'm not so sure if i've fully regained my full hearing yet.)

i guess i went on a rampage, i prefer to call it a quest: i found myself filling my zen with more new songs than i could possibly keep up with, so most of these albums i've mentioned have barely been given enough time for their comments, so do take them with a pinch of salt, they're more for me i guess, my own critical appreciation of 'em, in my attempts to sieve through waveform after waveform for the perfect sound to take me through life right now.

and in this instant, i also tell myself to begin work on my own albums too. perhaps only that will bring me peace of mind in music.

to personal fulfillment.

2007-03-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

some new albums i'm listening to lately:

AMBIENT/INDIE SYMPHONIC
...of sinking ships ...of sinking ships
dreamlike, soothing stuff. mostly major(happy) chords.

explosions in the sky all of a sudden i miss everyone
i can't quite describe what it feels like, but basically its like what it says: all of a sudden i miss everyone.

devin townsend the hummer
this guy's a metal genius, he did strapping young lad, helped produce lots of other bands, even lamb of god's second album i think.. (and was duh freaking instrumental in that, they sounded totally different from the first album), what he's doing with ambient i don't know tho, although my girlfriend kinda retorted "aren't you doing the same?" experimental, i guess.

aereogramme (various albums)
haven't listened yet.

eluvium copia
the whole album sounds like it came from a nice movie soundtrack. very mood-inducing orchestral stuff. try it.

ROCK
led zeppelin acid rave remixes
self explanatory. cool shit.

30 seconds to mars a beautiful lie
radio friendly. but nice tunes. and jared leto can croon.

mechanical poet creepy tales for freaky children
sounds very similar to machinae supremacy (deus ex machina). note to self: go check out if this was a side project. scandinavian rock, if i could attempt a description.

pelican city of echoes
progressive instrumental rock.

within temptation the heart of everything
kinda like evanescence, but more gothic.

tristania illumination
like within temptation... but even more towards gothic themes. in fact, there's almost no more rock or metal left. heh.

METAL
isis in the absence of truth
sounds like opeth. but i don't think its as musically technical.

the fall of troy the fall of troy
I LOVE THIS BAND. its a fusion of progressive rock (not metal), punk, funk, emocore, it's basically almost trash if you think about it but it holds itself together damn well. Serves my epileptic aural needs fully!

machine head the blackening
haven't really listened yet. but so far, i think they've done a pretty decent job of a revamp. nice new melodic nuances layered onto their classic style. it should be quite a good buy if you were a fan of both their old chuggier and more recent foray into melodic, minus the rap. (which i quite liked anyway)

with passion what we see when we shut our eyes
techmetal. lots of scattaco rhythmed sweeping, and black dahlia murder-esque verses. love it.

five star prison cell slaves of virgo
meshuggah ish. cold offbeat stuff. nice use of layers of vocals.

the faceless akeldama
like between the buried and me!! nuff said!

a life once lost hunter
metalcore. some interesting offbeat structures, haven't really listened fully yet.

all out war assasins in the house of god
metalcore too. also haven't really listened fully, but on initial impressions, seems very deathmetal, heavy chugging all the way ala old sepultura.

annihilator metal
death, old skool style. feels nice for a change.

communic waves of visual decay
similar tone to nevermore, but more slower songs.

amon amarth with oden on our side
melodic death. along the lines of dark tranquillity.

cradle of filth thornography
i still don't get why this band is that famous. like, i mean, ask someone who doesn't know any metal, but he's probably heard of this name. well, this album's pretty ok, but, well, nothing really special.

dark tranquillity fiction
used to love them alot, but i think i outgrew it. a little bit disappointed that they didn't change their style much, asides from some songs guested by a female vocalist. i still prefer the previous two albums.

bloodjinn this machine runs on empty
feels very much like lamb of god, minus the nonsense that came along when they got more famous. quite like it.

fallen figure eulogy
techmetal/core some unsigned band ep/demo. pretty good, cept i can't stand the recording quality.

gotthard domino effect
old skool heavymetal. kinda grossed out by it. haha.

haste the day pressure the hinges
metalcore/emo. reminds me of when i used to listen to the likes of avenged sevenfold, killswitch engage, etc.

maylene and the sons of disaster ii
nice thrash metal fused with a southern rock groove.

kill the romance take another life
metalcore with powermetal influences.

maze of torment hidden cruelty
slayer-like vocals and riffage, more melody though.

2007-02-25T02:50:00.000+08:00

came across some nice photography and lighting techniques at fotodecadent.

2007-02-25T01:05:00.000+08:00

this one's more guitar.. more like my older stuff.

fine. i ripped off a lamb of god riff in the intro. but i like the 2nd portion, the section with layers of clean guitars.

seasons

2007-02-20T04:46:00.001+08:00

what i've been up to lately.

2007-02-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

this is the source transcript for my current end semester project, for directing and cinematography.

everyone gets the same dialogue transcript, but we're supposed to figure out how differently we are all gonna do it.

2007-02-06T02:40:00.000+08:00

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working."

2007-02-04T04:18:00.000+08:00

i've moved, yet again. i'm still looking for good hosting services for both music and blogging, but right now i think this place is still the best bet.

some more new songs here.

sunrise

lofi dream

melodrama

attempt

2007-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

the exit (The Haunted cover)

a beautiful lie (30 Seconds to Mars cover)

drum & amplifier software test

attempt
my first try at using Ableton Live. just a snippet.

breaking into groove
(ALERT: loud)

displacement
(ALERT: loud)

full void
(ALERT: loud)

the perplexed grandeur delights
fades away with black despite
enter the medley intrinsic cacophony caress the bleed of the eye
silence the sirens, echoed distortions, truncate, compress, normalize

expansion of space inhibits extrovertion
cast away, desensitized, curtailed sentiment
satisfaction is impermanent, erratic, deceitful
safety in numbers, laws of average applied

detach the faculties
(the only way to survive)
embrace indifference
(replace the endless feed)

pleasure in certainty, renouncement of faith
asphyxiate so often you don't feel it anymore
engaging dysfunction descend into privy
drown out externals, simplify

but void still fills my emptiness

intrinsic discordance
lets see, i think i wrote this around august 2005.

feed the cross that shrivelled in flames
anoint thy prayer upon its cradle
sparks of ashes float away
translating the irreversible sands of time

the gates closed as the sun came down
the red sky splashes upon its surroundings
the elaborate fears draw in once again
creatures we've grown used to

from behind the barriers we await
that self-manifested sense of protection
false hope ingrained; what we call faith
the saviour and his crucifix, the satan and his horde

rattle of the gates; claustrophobia ensues
the light of the inner sphere flickers
convictions turn feverish
unity divided

obscurity brings disorientation
disorder and the turmoils of upheaval
all but while the beasts sieged upon
reconstruct refuge to prison

confinement equates self preservation
but how much of that is retained?
intrinsic constitutional discordance
faith in distant salvation

engines of sedition-original idea
(ALERT: loud)

engines of sedition-drum track trial
(ALERT: loud)

engines of sedition-1st jam
(ALERT: loud)
back during NS, a bunch of us formed up and called ourselves cassus viscus. this was the first (and only) piece that emerged from the band.
the different tracks show work in progress on the song.

line draft
one of the i'm-bored-so-i-pick-up-the-guitar sessions.

lofi dream
trying out ableton's midi capabilities.

melodrama
same.

oddbarre
(ALERT: loud)
this song is ala soviet montage and german expressionism combined.

prime numbers
(ALERT: loud)
more offkey stuff.

reaction (Between the Buried and Me cover)

seasons

sunrise
i think this is my most successful midi based composition so far..
if you had to choose one song to hear from me, it'd be this one.

the lyricist
amanda wrote this one.

the wind taught my hair about peace and perfection
and in every strand that it swept through
I could almost still imagine you
we're kindred spirits till you leave my room
then you become just a stranger I thought I knew

as the bus ate up the roads from the view of my side window
I choked on your amnesia and wished for my own
back to the start, back to the end, I feel thrown

I saw the sunlight bouncing off the beaks of birds
and suddenly I knew that it was never really about you
or those silly things I let myself go through

it's not about the times we turned away from each other
or the times it seemed that the lies seeped in
through that space between our hands

I cannot give you an answer
just like how you cannot give me one too

the river flows frozen (Eternal Tears of Sorrow cover)

the lexus and the olive tree
this piece was a soundscape for a photography series i did in year one, showing the clash between industrialization and globalization versus culture and religion. hence the name (stolen from thomas friedman's book)